Unemployment Diary Week 2: Freeloader

This blog entry is part of a series, that deals with my current unemployment status: If you want to catch up, please do so by clicking the links below:

Day 1 | Why Don’t You Get a Job? | Haircut | Another Day In Paradise

Saturday

The best news that begins week 2 is that I got a paycheck from my former employer. Its one of the three checks that they owed me still. I really had this desire to use it to go on Vacation. Just spend it bumming around. beaches on the east and west side of Florida and everything else in between.

The Losers

In what could possibly be one of my last returns to the theatres, what with my quickly disappearing funds, and rising ticket prices, I decided to cash in a free movie ticket I had at Sunrise Cinemas thanks to their loyalty rewards programs. I can’t push these programs enough. What may seem like a hassle to carry around rewards cards and flash them while buying a ticket, eventually pays off big when you need it. Whether its a free ticket or free concessions, it all helps the wallet.

I decided to watch The Losers. Good or bad I tend to always support the comic Book movies that need it.

Give it a chance, The Losers might just surprise you. It’s faithful to the comic, but not bogged down by continuity or fan boys so they could cut loose and have a lot of fun. I enjoyed it quite a bit, and my review of it at the time was pretty much this. “If you’re looking for something to do. And You haven’t seen Kick-Ass, then watch The Losers”. Hell,  that should’ve been the blurb on the Poster.  Free entertainment At its finest.

Sunday

I hit Hollywood Beach Again. This time I took the kid and even though she was being quite a prat we still managed to have some fun.

She managed to lose that beach ball no less than 4 times, thanks to high velocity wind. And thanks to the sexy European chick who decided it was her mission to help her return it to us.  She also took the Goodwill roller skate shoes out for a trial run at the Hollywood Broadwalk.

BTW, Ally gets off on seeing herself on this blog or on Face book  or YouTube in whatever ridiculous adventures she gets into. But sooner or later I fear its going to catch up to her in an embarrassing way,

Monday

I applied for Government assistance to see where that would take me. But apparently I need a letter from my boss stating that I no longer am employed and why. I fired them off an email asking them to do me this Solid, so i could get some health benefits.

Things have been really shitty lately. Even though i find myself with more free time, I have even less desire to make use of it. I feel guilty to spend any money, and I feel even more guilty to use this time for leisure. I cant even watch TV without tormenting myself. 

It feels like when we have a power outage due to a hurricane. And there’s nothing to do, but sit around the house bored, and go to bed early.

Tuesday

I bought Super Street Fighter 4. Yeah I shouldn’t be spending money, but I had Best Buy Reward Zone points. Thanks again to loyalty cards, And it ended up only costing me 20 Bucks. Plus I got a free costume pack for the game, on Xbox Live.

A good friend wrote me, saying she’s been wondering how I am since the my job loss. I told her I’m a little sad, but carrying on none the less.

I think I’m sad because I’m bored. I’m bored because I have no desire to go out or entertain myself, because I have no job. When I do have a job, I usually hate it. And that makes me unhappy. But working allows me the opportunity to earn money to buy things.  New things amuse me. But I’ve learned as i get older that new toys don’t make me happy anymore.

I think what I really want to do is go to some deserted cabin in the middle of nowhere and just forget about all the trappings of society. But I'm not allowed to do so, because of my kid. Because of my family. SO I got to work. So she can grow up and get a job and a mortgage and feel like shit too. Life is retarded.

I don’t think my friend understands me anymore. As much as I desperately  want her too. I pretend I have something to do. That I have somewhere to be. And I go off and watch TV.

Wednesday

I called my bosses, because I have not received a response to the email. I really need proof that I am no longer gainfully employed to receive these benefits. But it looks like They are done taking my calls.

Thursday

I got denied for unemployment. Basically it stated I made no wages for last year. I think they got a hold of my former boss, and he explained to them I was a contractor. And probably was not entitled for benefits.

I convince my brother to see the new Nightmare on Elm Street. We’re both big horror buffs, and a new Nightmare, Halloween, Or Friday movie is one of the few we can both agree on seeing together. And it tides us over until the next Halloween Horror Nights. He brings his wife along. Which is fine, but I was expecting it to just be the two of us. But she’s paying, and therefore more than welcome. Popcorn and Soda are added to the credit card, and it still comes out cheaper than it would have been at AMC Aventura 24. Thanks to my sister in law Monse, and Flippers Cinema.  Too bad the movie sucked.

Friday

Another former Co-worker touted a job opportunity at his place of business. I was tempted to apply, because Man I NEED something. But the pay is considerably less than what I was making before. He said there are some good benefits and commissions that may put be on equal footing with my previous job. But we all know commissions are never guaranteed. This kind of decision is hard. I mean I need a job, But can i waste my time and someone else’s time when I know it wont be enough to pay my bills and may have to quit eventually? It’s something I’m going to have to thing about over the weekend.

Casey’s birthday party today. I attend not only to make merry with a friend. But just to have something to do. Oh and free refreshments is always nice in my time of need. I know it’s your  Birthday Casey, but thanks for The Quiche! 

Saturday

Free Comic Book Day! Talk about stretching your entertainment value? Thanks to Glen at Villains in North Miami beach, me and the kid got a great selection of comics.

What’s better than not spending a dime and getting Free Comics?

Spending a few pennies and getting an entire run of Keith Giffen’s Justice League International. At 20 cents a piece, Amazing deal at Zap Bam Ka-Pow! in Pembroke Pines. (Formerly EARTH 2 COMICS)

I didn’t get a check this Saturday though. And I have a sneaking suspicion it has something to do with Unemployment and the request for that letter.

Sunday

Free-loading at Casey’s party isn’t the lowest I’ve stooped this week. My daughter was invited to a party at Chuck E Cheese.  I hate Chuck E. Cheese. It’s the worst place on Earth.

Even the rat doesn’t look like he wants to be here. Sad Chuck E.,Cheese reminds me of this picture “Sad Vader”.

Still I went to the party and accepted beer, soda, pizza, wings, and cake from people I barely new and had no desire to befriend.  I'm not even a fan of beer, but it didn’t stop me from guzzling it down, in hopes it would dull my senses, from the roar of children screaming as they rode token operated machinery.

I ended the day and this weekend pretty much the same way i did the last weekend, at the beach Again. Just did not have a desire to go home I guess. This time though the kid had no swimwear. But that’s okay she’s not shy.

She was excited afterwards. Because she (mostly) got rid of her tan lines. I’m already starting to dread the days, she reaches of Age and finds out about  Haulover Beach, so she can get an “all-over” tan as she puts it.

She’s growing up way too fast.

-J.

Casting for Extras

It’s been over a month since I last posted regarding production of The Lunchroom.  I want to apologize for that from the get go.  This blog post is part of a continuing series on the making of are first short film The Lunchroom. If you want to catch up, Please do so on the below links.

The Beginning

Rebel without a Crew | Sifting | Last Call? | A Band Apart | Soundtrack | Lights! Camera!? | Bad M.F. |  This is the End | Gotta Have It

Pre-Production

Lunchroom Conversations | Another 48 Hrs. | Odishon

 On my last entry we had wrapped up auditions and had found new energy.  It had sparked the creative desire in each and every one of us. I’d like to tell you that we seized the moment and banged out a slew of short films in the couple of months since casting. But that’s not what happened at all:

Getting the film made was not an easy undertaking.  I don’t want to highlight any of the negative aspects, but suffice it to say there was friction in the group. Some of us, had experience, and some of us did not. Some felt they were just along for the ride. Some of us were used to doing things in one fashion, and others were looking for  direction, while others were flowing with the moment.  What I learned most though is even with a small group of independent filmmakers, it can get very Hollywood when its time for creative decisions. What I mean by “Hollywood” is when things spiral out of control in the creation process, and you end up with a giant fucking Spider in your movie. We see some asinine situations come out of Hollywood, absurd plots, stupid remakes, and ending that differ completely from the novel and you wonder Who the Hell was the guy that came up this bullshit? It’s just normal people. Each pursuing their own interests in the project, whether its money, fame or career. Each with an ego, they needed to check, an opinion they just NEED to share, They need to be heard.  You know the saying too many cooks spoil the soup? Well the same can be said about filmmaking.   And that’s something I learned for the future. Everyone should have an assigned job, and they need to it, and everyone else needs to get out of their way. The writer is the writer. The director directs, and producer needs to wrangle them altogether, or shit will never get done.

I decided since I wasn’t writing or directing, that I would take the task of production on my shoulders. It also seemed like no one else wanted it, even though a deadline for shooting had been set. Furthermore, we had yet still not cast the lead actress. The one that ties it all together. While I saw the comedic opportunities of the role, a crazy stalker. A woman too desperate to realize that her advances were unwanted. Leonard had the one caveat that she had to be extremely hot. So the idea that she’s desperate no longer worked.  The character would have to be naive.

I went ahead, and put up a casting call on Mandy.com.  The character sheet said she would be 22-29, but Mandy only had 18-24 and 25-30. I didn’t want the character to be so young. So I chose 25-30.  What I would soon learn is that in Hollywood talk, 25-30 is late 40’s to early 50’s. The first dozen or so applicants. where 25-30 years older than ME. It seemed like an utter disaster at this point. There were no actresses who would fit the description. The closest was a  late thirties hispanic woman, who had done some dramatic work in short films, but was going to be unable to attend the audition. She wanted to audition via the web. Which in this day and age was not an unusual request. Hell, production meetings on this film were being held over facebook messages.  But I had come up with the GENIUS idea, to hold auditions on the very same day of the shoot. The character didn’t have a lot of lines and no one was available to hold secondary auditions. So why not merge everything onto the same day.

I then moved on to Craigslist, which had been such a huge boon in talent scouting on previous projects. I sent out the same posting, plus a separate one for Extras. While I got a dozens of requests for people wanting to be extras, I got very few prospects in the way of lead actress. It wasn’t for lack of applicants either. I got tons of resumes this time. People that weren’t quite right for the part. Mostly because they had the wrong genitalia. Apparently on Craigslist Looking for Lead Actress means: Hairy chested men Wanted.  One woman even sent me the resume for her adorable 3 year old son. She had him pimped out in a business suit and a slick haircut. I know you’re looking for women, she said. But please keep my son in mind. Let’s see: Now casting for workplace comedy, The Office meets Fatal Attraction. I guess I really might have a part for junior.  He did have a nice suit.

Eventually the most interesting thing happened. My craigslist ad was dumped, on several, talent agency websites. All of a sudden I was bombarded with applicants. Male, female, and some of undermined sexuality. I’m not going post pictures, but they ranged from some beautiful women to some of the most absurd people. There was a guy who looked like he belonged  as an extra in Napoleon Dynamite. He had an awesome wristband, killer hair, and a katana sword. I really wanted him in the movie.  I can’t help it. I gotta post pictures.

Freakin’ Awesome. *lol*

Then there was this lady, who was part bodybuilder, part cougar, All bad ass. She was the star of her own comic book.  Correction. TWO Comic Books. Rarely does one get to be the star of one comic, let alone TWO. Unless you’re Batman. But we weren’t exactly sure if she was a female.  Serge and Eric, experts in photoshop and digital manipulation, went over the image in question and did notice that it was “retouched” in the crotch area.

here was this lady, who was part bodybuilder, part cougar, All bad ass. She was the star of her own comic book.  Correction. TWO Comic Books. Rarely does one get to be the star of one comic, let alone TWO. Unless you’re Batman. But we weren’t exactly sure if she was a female.  Serge and Eric, experts in photoshop and digital manipulation, went over the image in question and did notice that it was “retouched” in the crotch area.

Still Casting Auditions over the internet weren’t all bad.  It’s how we found Pearce Blair after all.

From the get-go I knew I wanted him in the movie. He just looked so pimp in that suit. There wasn’t even a part for him beyond extra. So I lobbied for us to create something special for him.  Pretty much the entire crew loved his look. So we created the role of “The Boss” for him.  If you haven't seen it yet. Check out Pearce in the short film Intervention below.

 

We also found Nikita Miller this way. She applied to be an extra in our film. But I knew right away, that we could cast her in the lead female role.

I submitted her in with the other applicants without much fanfare. Everyone’s conception of beauty is different, so I didn’t want someone veto-ing her automatically. Just because I thought she was right for the role, even though she was a bit young.  I think Serge was the first one to get excited over her picture. If she could act he wanted her in his short film Norwood.  I also saw her in a few of my feature length scripts. She had that girl next door quality in her photos. Eric also chimed in his approval, and lastly Leonard would ask to bring her on board in his usual understated way. Give me so and so, oh and Nikita too.

Unemployment Diary Day 4 and 5: Another Day In Paradise.

Day 4

-SABOTAGE-

I was contacted at 11:25 by the former coworker who I was looking to get a job from. He told me that someone had shutdown my former employer’s phone server.  Add they had blamed him.Because the last person to logon used his password.

I didn’t actually wake up until 12:30 and got the message. But I let him know that revenge, while sounding through sabotage sounded amusing, it’s not something I was willing to risk, Due to all the money they owed me at the moment. And if I were to commit sabotage, I would do more than simply turn something off. 

-CONSERVATION--

It’s earth day today, And I’ve been doing what I can as of late. Not simply save the planet. But to save cash anyway i can. Persistently  Turning off lights and electronics. Yelling at family members who forget to do the same. Shutting off the AC and leaving it off whenever possible.  And washing laundry at a relatives house and hanging it up on the line.

Saving money first and the earth second.

Day 5

-I DIDN’T FORGET ABOUT YOU-

I got a message from my former co-worker. He said He didn’t forget about me, but he has two other partners. Not sure what he meant by that whether he had to check with him, or whether I had to go through some interview process.  He also said that his offices were in Brickell. And wondered whether I’d be able to make it. But he also said I should be used to it, driving to TAG everyday.  Actually I’m not sure If that’s what he meant. Maybe he was trying to steer me away from the idea of working for him. Brickell really isn’t that far from me at all. Not sure if the interview is in Brickell, or if the job is in Brickell.  Doesn’t really matter, I’d drive to the moon if it meant that my life would go back to normal.

Fuck and to be honest, I don’t even know what the job is. Don’t really care as long as there’s a steady paycheck involved.   He said He would call me today, and I had the feintest glimmer of hope from his message.

-LIFESTYLES OF THE BROKE AND UNEMPLOYED-

Eric’s was itching to get out of the house and wanting to come over to mine. I really didn’t think I’d make good company. I’ve been avoiding hanging out. But after the message I received earlier, I was in good Spirits and decided to get out of the house. He wanted to get some coffee, and I wanted some freedom. So we went down to the broadwalk at Hollywood Beach. Which was pretty quiet on a Friday afternoon.

We ate at Oceanside Seafood restaurant which made a pretty ostentatious claim to having THE BEST PHILLY CHEESESTEAK IN HOLLYWOOD.

I’m not a gourmet, by any stretch of the imagination, but if you’re gonna boast something like this, be prepared to back it up. This shit was gross. And prepare in a microwave over as you don’t even have a grill on the premises. Seriously. Never eat here.  

I do like the ay they bring out their condiments though.

I played around, watching myself  on the the webcam  from the restaurant next door.  I know it’s easily accessible technology. Any idiot can put up a webcam.  But there’s just something thrilling about watching yourself on TV.

After a short walk we ran into this poor unfortunate creature.  There is no other way to describe her.

She walks up to me and asks:

“What are you doing?”

“Nothing Just hanging out. What are YOU doing?”

”Just got out of jail. And I don’t know what to do. Do you have any idea?.”

“I’m sure there are some shelters. But I’m not from here. So I don’t know where. Or how safe they are.

“Oh. Can I have some money?”

“No I don’t have any. I just lost my job actually. Why were you in Jail?”

“I tried to Kill myself. Is that the New Apple iPad?”

I shit you not. This is the exact turn this conversation took. Even homeless suicidal drug addicts, know what’s really important. .

The rest of the interaction was me prodding her for more info on her attempted suicide and her trying to borrow Eric’s phone.

You know that Phil Collins Video “Another Day in Paradise” where the dude ignores the homeless lady? 

Yeah Eric. is THAT bastard. The situation made him extremely uncomfortable, and that tickled me to no end. Where I kept egging him on.

"Can I borrow Your Phone” she says.

“I’m sorry. I’m waiting for an important call” he says.

“Doesn’t it have call waiting? All phone have call waiting”

“Yeah dude. All phones have call waiting!.”  I said.  “And anyways if it’s important I’m sure they’ll call back”

Heartless, I tell you. I can’t say i blame him. Cellphones are a pretty personal thing.  You cant wash the stench of homelessness with soap and water. And this lady had sores all over her face,   I wouldn’t have loaned her my shit either. Eric just needed a better lie.

“Is that a phone? Can I borrow it?”

“No sorry. I lost my job and had the service turned off. I’m just using it as an iPod now.

“Nice case.”

”Oh hey. Thanks.”  Again I am not exaggerating. THis is how the conversation went. It is a pretty nice case though.

All and All I had a nice day at the beach.  But I never did get a call back.

Unemployment Diary Day 3 : Get a Haircut and Get a Real Job

Day 3

-So, You Need My Help?-

I woke up this morning at noon. Finally sleeping the sleep of the unemployed. I noticed a missed call on my cellphone and a voicemail from My Old Boss.

“Hey I could use a little information on something if you could give me a call on my cellphone, thanks”

So you could use my help now? Doesn’t really sound like you were going to pay me for this “information”.   To be honest, if my phone hadn’t been in an off position I probably would have woken up immediately and helped him. I mean these guys still owe me money. I need that money. But alas, my cellphone was off.  I returned his call immediately and left a message. Then i called him an hour later and he didn’t answer again. When I worked for him, he always answered, or got back to me within 5 minutes. So if i’m getting this kind of treatment when I’m calling to help HIM out with something. I only imagine the response I’ll get when I start calling to ask him where my money is.

-BEING DIRECT-

I contacted my former co-worker and just put it out there.

“Any word On the possibility of hiring me?”

He fed me  a line about how he’s still checking, But he just hired a bunch of people and he’ll see if he cut one of them loose and hire me. I told him whatever he could so, and no hard feelings. Then he changed the subject.  *ouch* 

No hard feelings. Because if the roles were reversed I wouldn’t hire me either. See he’s worked with me at two different companies. And he knows my work ethic and I can never compare to his. Maybe that was okay when it was someone else’s money at stake. But now that it’s his he has to be more careful and I get that. It’s not like I would take advantage of our friendship like that either.

-BURNING BRIDGES-

I’ve also realized I should stop badmouthing Comcast. They seem to be the only game in town for employment. And their support staff is a swell bunch of guys. Offering me help through my blog comments and twitter. I expect them to show up on my Facebook and X-Box Live any day now. Send me your gamertag Doug!   

My current problems with Comcast have come to an end, now that my job with the Wi-Fi company is over. So I don’t need your help Mark and Doug. But if I do, I know how to get in touch with you guys quickly. 

Doug had another amusing shoutout for me on his Twitter feed.

comcastdoug

@kortanaskew WOW... appreciate the mention in your Blog :-) We do try and yep I'm for real... we have a full team..

-SO YOU NEED MY HELP Part 2-

So the ex-boss finally called me back. They’re having a problem with the NetGong network monitoring tool. It’s a tool designed to monitor our routers at all of our location.  It’s not a magical tool, I had to into it everyday several times a day and update it. But without it, it makes our job near-impossible. I know because we lost the license back in 2008 for it. The bosses were trying to come up with a payment because they only accepted paypal and credit cards. They wanted to pay with a company check, and not use their own credit cards. Because the company owed the bosses money already. But the kicker is the bosses owned the company. Seems like they were dipping their ink in the company well. So I offered to buy it with my paypal as long as I would be reimbursed. They agreed and we’ve been able to use netgong ever since.  This was December 2008. The last expense check I received was for June 2008. Long story short, they never paid me for the software license. And now here they were, calling me to repair something they screwed up, when they changed the password to lock me out of the server when they fired me. Even though they never reimbursed me for the program. I was livid. I gave them some bullshit about it having to do with the password change. 

But I wasn’t going to help them. Screw that.  He said perhaps we can maybe make this your first project. If they give me access to this software I will just uninstall it. End of story.

Then he said the new company might call me in a couple of weeks. So I realized something. The merger is still in transition stage. Their goal at the moment was to solidify their positions in the company. There were three of them taking a paycheck, while i kept the company running. i never got greedy, I never asked for more money. And i was always patient when they told me. But they always took their paycheck first. One of the three is my ex-bosses wife. A nice lady but a complete nincompoop, when it came to technical support, sales, and payment processing. She’s pretty much been responsible for 75% of the outages that are caused at our location. Because she has either forgotten to pay the bill, or mismanaged the budget, and the internet was always being cut off. 

When this realization sunk in. I became angry. My new goal now is to recover my pay, and everything owed to me by any means possible. I still won’t sink to sabotage, but I will start consulting labor lawyers. 

-GET A HAIRCUT AND GET A REAL JOB-

One of the perks of working from home is the lack of need towards grooming. My beard is in a constant state of shaggyness, I often find myself going to work in my sleep clothes and my hair has gotten very long.   Check it out:

 

So I was going to need a haircut. I called my brother up who I often used to trim the sides of my hair to save barber fees. He was extremely reluctant because any expertise he had was just buzz cuts.  But I couldn’t go out and spend money on a barber or a salon. Unemployed people don’t have fancy haircut money. So I convinced him to come over and give it a shot. And if he screwed it up we could always just shave it all off, right?

He was listening to a Top 100 songs of 1994 countdown and this song began to play as the trimming started.  Completely appropriate lyrics.

:

“Oh no, It go, It gone, Bye Bye”

First thing had to go was my ponytail. I hate it, but it was an unnecessary evil to keep my hair in check. i wont be sad to see it go.

“Watch me unravel, I'll soon be naked.” 

My then started to experiment with different looks as he cut away,

Then he made a really bad cut where i ended up looking like Lloyd from Dumb and Dumber.

Then I discovered I had a part in my head I couldn’t get rid off.

Lord don’t let me end up with a Hitler haircut. I prayed.

He wanted to shave it off. But We were able to work it out when i wet my hair. Then he began to style it in all sorts of metrosexual ways.

This one was my favorite cause it reminded me of Daniel Day Lewis in “There Will Be Blood”

"I’ll drink your Milkshake”

“Lying on the floor, Lying on the floor! I've come undone”

I guess in the end it doesn’t look so bad for a free haircut.

I was upset about it at first., But once I showered and combed it and styled it, It looks way better than the above photos. Or so I hope.

-MOTIVATION-

Once my brother and his wife left. He sent me a text saying he left me 100 bucks inside my iPhone case.  I was floored. And shocked. I blow through a  hundred dollars like it’s nobody’s business. For them it’s a lot harder to come by. I was also angry that my former employers left me in such a situation that he thought he should have to leave me some money. This is my little baby brother. I should be the one looking out for him.

I texted him back that I wasn’t in such dire straits, that I needed his money yet. But I really appreciated the sentiment. 

I vowed to myself that I would get a job before I would have a need to use that money.

Unemployment Diary Day 2: Why Don’t You Get a Job?

Day 2: Why Don’t You get a Job?

I woke up this morning and realized it was the first non vacation weekday in a long time, where I didn’t have to snooze my alarm.  I checked the phone expecting it to read something far into the afternoon. But it was only 10 AM. I cant even do being unemployed “sleeping-in”, right.

This song was running through my head as I awoke.

I was completely satisfied, with just sitting around the house.Until my Last and Security deposits run out and start selling off my comic book and dvd collection, then move to some remote tropical island with my iPad and Windows Home server. But that sonuvabitch Dexter Holland and the Offspring wouldn’t let me be and invaded my subconscious.

Sometime after 10 my boss called. Sorry, my “former” boss called.

“Hey did you send me that resume?”

I hadn’t. I’m not sure if I could continue to work for someone In any capacity who would fuck me over like this.  I told him I had. And he said he would check it immediately.  Then he said I should contact a certain former coworker.  Who was now doing separate business dealings with the company. Or that he could contact him for me.  This former co-worker already had spoken to me about the possibility of hiring me. And said he would get back to me. I’m still waiting for that contact. 

I decided to go ahead and update my resume and send it to him. It really couldn’t hurt. Plus this was something I was going to have to do anyway. I was the supreme master at creative resume padding.

King of the World? Check! Master Hacker? Check! Able to leap tall buildings in a single bound? Check!

When I was done, Obama would be hiring me to handle the budget crisis, or shine his shoes. Win Win!

I got on facebook and a few people had sent me job opportunities. Thanks Jose and Casey. But mostly there were jokes. Not so much at my expense. But it was alright, many of the jokemakers had also been in that similar situation.  But I had responsibilities and did not have “living with my Mom” as a fallback. I need a fucking job. Yesterday.

I went out to pick up Ally. Something I’ve only done on the first day of her school.  She was extremely surprised. I have not explained the situation to her yet, because two weeks ago I explained the concept of homelessness to her. There had been a crazy bum panhandling and annoying people at a local restaurant. And she asked me why he was doing this. I explained he had no home. No job and probably no family to stay with, This was the most horrible thing she ever heard. Her first dose of reality. She was immediately saddened by this and began to cry. “I don’t want to be homeless” she said. I explained to her that her parents would never let her be homeless. That this was the reason I work everyday. That we would make sure she finishes school and then is able to get a good job for herself and be able to buy a house and thus insuring she would never be homeless. This seemed to comfort her, because she smiled and hugged me. That smile is the reason I go to work everyday. But now I’m out of work.

I realized that i would have to start making changes. Already I was living paycheck to paycheck. But most of the jobs out there in the same field paid considerably less. I might be bringing home up to a 1000 dollars less every month.

I decided to humor myself and visit the Goodwill. I didn’t need or want anything. But this is what money conscious people do right? Found a pair of Bratz Skate shoes  in Ally’s size for 4 Bucks. Original retail price 29.99. Score! Yeah I was still buying unnecessary junk. But I was saving money now! And saving the environment. Reduce Reuse Recycle! ;)

I got home and I had a response from the former coworker with a possible job opportunity. It just wasn’t the one i was looking for.

“Can I use you as a reference?”

”Sure.”

Maybe I should have been more direct.

“Nigga, can I get a JOB?”

I swallowed my pride and put in an application for Comcast instead. I fucking HATE comcast. Anyone who knows me, knows of my long and storied battles with them. Which only got worse when I started working for a Wi-Fi company that needed to have direct dealings with them. Many, many times, Have I yelled into that phone, expecting better, different results. It never ever changed anything. If i had an enemies list, they would be number 2 on that list. 

But I’m already a hypocrite rite? I pay them every month to fuck me in the ass whenever possible. So why not go to work for them. This way They’d be paying me to rape people. Plus free internet service and cable tv. Woot. Plus they have one of the coolest jobs around.

This is an excerpt from my twitter.

kortanaskew : Go to hell #Comcast. Someone should put a Cap in you.  12:01 AM Jan 13th

It was an admittedly rash and juvenile tweet, over some bad misinformation i got from facebook. I was surprised to get a Response.

comcastdoug

@kortanaskew can we help? 9:11 AM Jan 13th

I got a same day response from Comcast via twitter? Not even my friends read this thing. I didn’t even direct it at him. Just threw it out into the ether.

He is part of the Customer Service Operations Digital Media Outreach team. Fuck that’s an awesome job. Yes, Comcast Doug, You can help me. How do I get YOUR job?                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                       So Now It’s been 3 months since I was contacted by him. But when looking up this info on my iPhone I accidentally sent comcastdoug a blank tweet. He responded quickly.

comcastdoug

@kortanaskew what can I do for you???? my friend.

He called me his friend? Comcast Doug Are you for real? Then he hit me back with this:

comcastdoug

@kortanaskew oh and no cap in me.. I am here to help!!!

Comcast Doug. You sir, are a class act.

Unemployment Diary Day One

Hi.

I’ve recently as of Monday found myself unemployed.  This is what has transpired so far.

Day One.

Woken up by a 9 am call from my boss. I hate these. Usually means i won’t be able to go back to sleep for the rest of the day.  He also has beaten my iPhone alarm. Which is also set to go off at 9 am. That mean’s he dialed exactly as his watch struck 9.

“Did I wake you?”

“Huh? Of Course not. Go ahead”

He begins to tell me of exciting new changes within the company. And he will no longer need the services of the other employee. I’m with him so far. Sales and Support will now be handled by the company they are merging with.  And here I am expecting him to say , like he’s told me numerous times before, that i will be handling the Network Infrastructure and providing Tier 2 support., to the new employees.  

Then he goes on to say. Our work with you will now be project based.  *RECORD SCRATCHES*

“Say What?” Project based? I can’t feed my family on projects. What they told me is after 5 years. And after keeping their company afloat for 3 of those years, on my back. That I’m fucked. 

“Send in a resume to the new company and we’ll be glad to submit it.”

This didn’t just happen overnight. You kept me on the hook with promises, and not paying me on-time for several months. Just to fuck me like this? Wonderful.

I can’t tell you how many people lied to me during this process. People I thought were my friends, and were looking out for my interests as well. People I did favors for because they requested them of me. That their company was having issues. And I needed to be patient in collection of my pay.

“You Just need to Chill for Today”

Why he said this like I would be coming in to work tomorrow I did not know. This is repugnant behavior.

“I don’t even have access to the server”

You never did. I made sure of that.  But I checked my access, Email. Website, Phone. Server, Billing system. All revoked. But I am the only one.  In fact password changes had begun on Thursday of last week. But they lied to me about why it was done.

This is when i realized I was terminated.  "You Just need to Chill For Today” indeed. How about chilling for the rest of my life?

After realizing what had occurred. What was done to two previous network admins. And what they had made me do to other co-workers. I decided against destroying their business. from the inside. I needed to collect my money, I have access to a lot of the routers and a lot oft he locations. I could call each one individually and do hardware resets on the routers. It would take them several days and several hundreds of dollars in manpower to deduce what had happened. But they still owe me money.  And this behavior is beneath me.  At least for now.

“Do you have any questions for me?” Yeah where the fuck is all the back pay you owe me? Plus Expenses and Bonuses.

I decided to file for unemployment. Fat lot of good it will do me though, I am several weeks behind in pay already. I spoke with Unemployment expert Josh and he said it would be several weeks before i would see any benefits. But that doesn’t matter since former coworkers had failed to recieve any such benefits from this company.

If I had known this situation had been coming. I would have found another job. Had my resume floating around sooner. Curbed my spending habits. I just bought an iPad and had an expensive get together at my house.  And Ive been spending my income tax refund to pay the bills I couldn’t afford because of my employers paying me late.

“We know you have a family and don’t want to leave you in the lurch”

But you did motherfucker. You just Did.

 

Ôdishon

In the time after the 48 Hr Film Fest debacle,  Serge had eventually explained that he had some computer issues and could not get in touch with me. This was a likely explanation after all I didn’t have his number either. But fuck that guy. I got to give him credit though. He didn’t stop trying to make attempts on collaborating on a project.  He and Leonard friend each other on facebook and movie talks resumed once more.

12/9/09

I decided to give them both another shot and started to pitch some ideas. Mostly some bro-mance pieces, that I felt would be lucrative.

12/16/09

Serge suggested we enter the Canon Can-do Contest. He said he had the tools, all we needed to bring was the talent. I wasn’t really to keen on contributing another script for another dead end project. My faith at this point was non existent. I had recently given Leonard both the Norwood scripts. He didn’t think that was the right project for now. He felt that the pacing was entirely different between the two scripts.

12/17/09

L: I think I got a 4 minute script about the Lunchroom crowd.

S: Sound’s like a fun read send it over and let’s see what it’s about.

12/18/2009

At this point we’ve all taken a look at the original script.  There was much feedback. I don’t think any of us actually got it.

L:  I could change the ending to have the girl kill him and herself if we want to got dark..

J:  Nah it doesn’t need to go dark. Not every independent movie needs to have someone die in it. I think though i don’t get the ending the way it is now. I think you need to go linear in the story telling.  You introduced it as short about the lunchroom crowd. but its really more about the guy telling his coworkers a bunch of things that happened off-screen, or in flashback and doesn’t take place at all in the lunchroom.

L: True, just the type of talk that goes on in the lunchroom here at work. Its up to you guys, i would like the kick off the new year right with a project and see what happens. I am getting ready to do another script , just fleshing out the ideas.

Serge thought that the Lunchroom gossip would be a great idea for an indie flick. And so the project began to take shape. Leonard worked on putting up auditions at Mandy.com and we decided that we would use Serge’s place all the way up in Coral Springs.

1/23/10

The day of auditions had arrived. We took the long drive to Serge’s house.  Things seemed to be disastrous at first. A bunch dudes sitting around watching Mexican comedians on Netflix and listening to Nickelback or whatever the fuck Serge had on his stereo.

Plenty of people had responded to Leonard’s audition posting and said they would show up. Worried that the project had suffered a major setback I decided to call a  friend, in the hope I could attempt to convince her to try her hand at acting.

When she gets there, there is no available parking. Serge recommends an available open lot down the street from his house. Due to the unknown neighborhood factor, I decide to ride with her, so I can walk her back to the house. On the way back, while chatting and catching up on each others lives. Or rather me listening and her blabbing away, we pass a couple of dudes playing basketball in front of their home.

“Excuse me Ms. I have a question for you. is that your boyfriend?”

Even though I’m not it wasn’t exactly obvious as she was on my arm as we walked down the street. This was enough to set her off. There was a back and forth exchange between them, that eventually got out of hand and I felt the need to step in. By that time the main guy was enraged enough to make an attempt to start a confrontation. I dwarfed him in size but felt no desire to actually engage in some fisticuffs. I asked him to allow me the courtesy to escort the lady in the house and I assured him i would indeed return to “take care of him.”

 

The guy picked up the largest brick he could find and held it above him ready to smash across my head. Calmly i began to walk my friend away from him. But that’s when she got a bit louder and decided the best course of action was to call the Police. The would be assailant and failed wooer took off promising retribution.

“I know where you parked your car motherfucker.”  He said to me.

“That ain’t my car, Idiot.”  I yelled back.

The police would soon arrive. I was extremely embarrassed that a civilized audition, due to my actions had now turned into a Jerry Springer situation.

When the police arrived we discovered that the guy had fled the scene. But left her with a parting gift.

 

The police in South Florida have always been completely useless. So it didn’t surprise me that they weren’t interested in helping beyond filing a report.  Serve and Protect? Yeah right.  That’s what they do when they Serve you a ticket so they can Protect their pension.  Collecting evidence must also be an absurd notion, because the cop brushed aside the Giant WEAPON the savage left on her car. The same WEAPON he threatened my life with earlier.

Still the day was not all bust. Serge had now contacted us and told us our first victim had arrived.

The Lunchroom - Casting Auditions - Theresa on Vimeo.

Debra delivered an interesting monologue from The Accused and is quickly ushered out the door by Leonard. I’m told she barely had time to gulp down the juice Serge had offered her. Leoanrd said he wanted to keep things moving.

Soon after we had a second audition. Federico came in an tried out for the role of Victor.

The Lunchroom - Casting Auditions - Victor on Vimeo.

He read from the script and a monologue of his own creation. We pretty much offered him the role on the spot. I guess it helped that he was the only one who had auditioned for the male lead at this point. He seemed pretty excited to join the cast at the moment.  We didn’t really get to build a rapport with him, as he was quickly rushed out the door as well. We were pumped because now that we had our convincing Victor, the rest of the cast can be filled with friends and inexperienced actors, if it came down to that.  

The last Audition for the day was Ashton Pina.

The Lunchroom - Casting Auditons - Victor #2 on Vimeo.

He read us from the script and a monologue from Suburbia. Check out an alternate angle of the audition here. He didn’t seem quite right for the role of Victor. He had unfortunately come after Federico and there for had to follow his performance. But we definitely saw some potential in Ashton and we let him know even if we didn’t use him on this project this was going to be the first of many, and we may contact him again. It probably sounded like we were blowing him off, but in a nice way.

After the auditions, we discussed possible alternate endings, something that would  make the four minute short memorable. We also had a a couple of table reads with Serge, and his brother each taken turns doubling for Victor.  All in all it was a pretty good experience and we learned a few things.

1) A bunch of guys sitting down staring at actors, can be quite intimidating. So we hope to include a woman in the next audition process we hold.

2) We need to get contact info on the actors before they arrive. That way we can ask them where the hell they are when they don’t show.

3) Scheduled Auditions beat open auditions. We wasted half the day sitting around. If we give each individual an appointment, we can wrap things up quicker.

I think I can speak for the rest of the guys by saying that we felt the project was on a roll now. Auditioning actors gives you huge sense of power. We were all ready to start coming up with projects so we can hold auditions. Even if we weren’t going to film them.